I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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