i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
