I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
