I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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