Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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