What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
