dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
