I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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