my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
