Pappa wants mamma naked
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
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YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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