he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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