I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You made out with two different species that night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
