Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.