I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.