Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
third nipple confirmed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.