But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
