I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
