thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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