babies were throwing up all over the place
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Randomize
