I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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