Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
