If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
