Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
