Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
