ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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