I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
