What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
