I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
