Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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