I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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