i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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