Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
