it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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