We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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