After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize