I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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