He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
