3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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