First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Holy sore nipples Batman
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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