so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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