woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
