ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
