Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
