I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
