I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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