just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
