Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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