Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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