The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
