She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize