the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
