i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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