she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
