whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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