Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
