they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
