Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
