I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize