So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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