well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am one with the molecules
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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