So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
