so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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