im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
